Band Geeks
by TCKing12
Summary: A parody of the Spongebob Squarepants episode, Band Geeks.


Susie was playing a piano when the doorbell rang. Doctor Jumba was at the door.

"Yeah, uhh, we're with the pet hospital down the street and I understand that you have a dying animal on the premises." Jumba said.

Susie then shut the door and the phone rang.

"Hello. You've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the [plays a piano tune]" Susie said.

"Sounds like you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh lil' sister? Squilliam asked.

Susie gasped and asked "Squilliam Fancyson from band class?".

"I hear you're in the fast food industry now." Squilliam said.

"Sometimes. Uh, how's the unibrow?" Susie asked.

Squilliam paused before saying "It's big and valuable. I'm the leader of a big fancy band now, and we're supposed to play the Bubble Bowl next week.".

"The ba-ba-ba... ba-ba-ba... ba-ba-ba?" Susie asked.

"That's right. I'm living your dreams Susie. The problem is, I'm busy next week and can't make it. So, I was hoping you and your band could cover for us." Squilliam said.

"Ohh, uhh, I...I, uhh..." Susie stammered.

"I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the food industry." Squlliam said.

"HOLD IT! It just so happens that I DON'T sell fast food, I DO have a band, and we're gonna play that Bubble Bowl!" Susie exclaimed. She then asked "How do you like that, Fancy Boy?".

"Good luck, next Tuesday. I hope the audience brings lots of... Ibuprofen." Squilliam said. He then hung up the phone.

Susie put down the phone and she said "I gotta drum up a marching band fast! Drum... haha... band humor.".

* * *

In the following lines, John Smith, Shrek, Donald Duck, Mayor Jones, and Sora were reading from a poster.

"Looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?" John Smith read.

"Then become part of the greatest musical sensation to ever hit Toon Town." Shrek read.

"And be forever adored by thousands of people you don't know!" Donald Duck read.

"Not to mention... free refreshments!" Mayor Jones read.

"Practice begins tonight. 8:30 sharp." Sora read.

* * *

Susie looked at her watch while she was driving a shell cart. The watch read 8:35.

"Stupid music rental clerk made me late. That trilobite didn't know an oboe from an elbow. Elbow, heh, more band humor." Susie said.

Inside the music school, everyone was speeking in giberish.

"People, people, settle down!" Susie shouted. When everyone was calm, she asked "Okay, now. How many of you have played musical instruments before?".

"Do instruments of torture count?" Professor Pericles asked.

"No." Susie said.

"Is ham an instrument?" Unikitty asked.

"No Unikitty, ham is not an instrument." Susie said.

Unikitty raised her hand again.

"Bacon is not an instrument, either." Susie said.

Unikitty lowered her hand.

That's fine. No one has any experience. Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you." Susie said. She then started to laugh.

"When do we get the free food?" Mayor Jones asked.

"Okay, try to repeat after me." Susie said.

She played 6 notes.

"Brass section, go." Susie said.

The brass section repeated badly.

"Good. Now the wind." Susie said.

The wind section repeated badly.

"And the drums." Susie said.

The drummers misunderstand what Susie meant. So they blew on their sticks which blew out and stuck Susie to the wall.

"Too bad that didn't kill me." Susie said.

* * *

"Let's just try stepping in the rhythm." Susie said. She then said "Now I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five.

"Is this the part where we start kicking?" Goofy asked.

"No Goofy, that's a chorus line." Susie said.

"Kicking? I wanna do some kicking!" Shaggy said.

Shaggy then kicked Princess Jasmine in the leg.

"Ow!" Jasmine said. She then held the part of her leg that was kicked and she glared at Shaggy and said "Why, you...".

She then started to fight Shaggy and the two of them took the fight outside. After a few seconds, Shaggy let out a yell and there was a long pause. Then Shaggy stuck his head back in.

"Whoever is the owner of the X Tornado, you left your lights on." Shaggy said.

Shaggy then walked in with his body in a trombone. As he sat down, he made a sound of his trombone.

* * *

_"Day two"_

The band walked down a street playing Semper Fidelis badly.

"Okay, that's perfect everybody. Bubble Bowl here we come. Flag twirlers, really spin those things. Okay, turn. Flag twirlers, let's go. I wanna see some spinning. Flag twirlers let's move! C'mon, move!" Susie said.

The flag twirlers, Mr. Incredible and Syndrome, took to the sky and crashed into a blimp, which caused an explosion. The trumpet player played taps while everyone mourned, except Susie, who just lied down on the ground.

* * *

_"Day Three"_

How's that harmonica solo coming Gingy?" Susie asked.

"It's tremendous, you wanna see? Gingy asked.

Gingy played the harmonica by running to and from holes, but he ran out of breath. He blew a unsuccessful raspberry into the harmonica and then fainted.

* * *

_"Day Four"_

"Well, this is our last night together before the show. And I know that none of you improved since we began." Susie said.

Kirby chewed on a trumpet.

"But I have a theory. People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?" Susie asked.

"Correct!" Pitch Black shouted.

"So, if we play loud, people might think we're good." Susie said. She then asked "Everybody ready?".

Everyone got their instruments ready.

"And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four!" Susie said.

Instead of nice, peaceful music, there was noise from the instruments that was so loud that the windows broke. When they were done, Susie's hair was blown and her baton broke.

"Okay, new theory. Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us." Susie said.

"Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some people didn't try to play with big, meaty claws!" Jafar said.

"What did you say, punk?" Mr. Krabs asked.

"BIG, meaty CLAWS!" Jafar repeated.

"Well, these claws ain't for just getting mates!" Mr. Krabs said.

"Bring it on, old man! Bring it on!" Jafar yelled.

"No, people. Let's be smart and bring it off." Jack Frost said.

"Oh, so now the talking freak is going to preach to us!" Elsa said.

"Wait, wait. I know tensions are high..." Susie said, attempting to calm down the crowd.

But everyone got into a fight. Mario and Sonic were yelling at each other when Bowser slammed a drum on Mario.

"There's a deposit on that equipment, people!" Susie said.

Everyone started to use their instruments as weapons. Mr. Krabs and Jafar charged at each other with oboes, but try to screech to a halt, but Rainbow Dash slammed them both with her cymbals.

"Settle down, please!" Susie said.

Jasmine and Pac-Man were fighting. Jasmine broke the xylophone keys from Pac-Man and Pac-Man ran away. Shaggy then kicked Jasmine, who chased him with a trumpet as the clock sounded at 10 and everyone stopped fighting.

"Hey, class is over!" Barbie said.

They all walked to the door where Susie slammed it open.

"Well, you did it. You took my one chance in happiness and crushed it. Crushed it into little tiny, bite-size pieces. I really expected better of you people. I guess I'm a loser for that, too. Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them you all died in a marching accident. So, thanks, thanks for nothing." Susie said. She then left.

"You're welcome." Prince Derek said.

"What kind of monsters are we?" Ginger Foultey asked. She then said "That poor creature came to us in her hour of need, and we failed her. Susie's always been there for us when it was convenient for her.". She then asked "Fluttershy, when your rabbit, Angel, was trapped in a fire, who rescued him?".

"A fireman." Fluttershy said.

"And Snow White, when your heart gave out from that poison apple, who revived you?" Ginger asked.

"Some guy in an ambulance." Snow White said.

"Right. So, if we can all just pretend that Susie was a fireman, or some guy in an ambulance, then I'm sure that we can all pull together and discover what it truly means to be in a marching band." Ginger said.

"Yeah, for the firemen!" Ben 10 shouted.

Everyone then cheered.

"Now let's make Susie proud." Ginger said.

* * *

The next day, Susie walked to the Bubble Bowl.

"I knew this was going to happen. They're just going to have to find another band to play. I just hope that..." Susie said. She then saw Squilliam and she yelled "SQUILLIAM DOESN'T FIND OUT!". She then screamed and walked up to Squlliam.

"What are you doing here?!" Susie asked.

Oh I just came to watch you blow it." Squlliam said. He then asked "So, where's your band?".

"Uh, they couldn't come. They... died." Susie said.

"Then who's that?" Squlliam asked, pointing at something.

Susie turned to what he was pointing at and she screamed.

"THAT WOULD BE MY BAND!" Susie yelled.

"We're ready to perform Susie." Danny Fenton said.

"Well Susie, this is exactly how I pictured your band would look." Squilliam said.

Danny started dancing.

"That's his... eager face." Susie said.

Squilliam laughed and they all went into the Bubble Bowl.

"Well, I guess this will be the last time I can show my face in this town." Susie said.

"That's the spirit, my female compadre." Rafiki said.

The bowl then rose above a football field on the moon.

"Okay, football fans. Put your hands together for the Toon Town Super Band!" a Football Anouncer announced.

All of the fans cheered noisily.

"These are some oddly looking toons." The Pirate Captain said.

"Maybe we're in one of those toxic waste dumps." Ramses said.

"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Mr. E said.

Susie looked at the band nervously and she said "Alright, everybody.".

She glanced at Squilliam, who grinned.

"Let's get this over with. 1, 2, 3, 4..." Susie said, closing her eyes..

The band played a wonderful intro and Susie opened her eyes.

Kimi Finster began singing.

"The winner takes all, it's the thrill of one more kill. The last one to fall will never sacrifice their will. Don't ever look back on the world closing in. Be on the attack with your wings on the wind. Oh, the games will begin." Kimi started.

Squilliam stared in shock. Susie gave him a smug grin and then threw her baton over her shoulder and uses her arms for conducting.

"And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah. And it's ours for the taking, it's ours for the fight!" Kimi continued.

Squilliam fainted and got carried away by stretchers. Susie waved a smug goodbye to him and then ran to the middle of the stage.

"And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah. And the one who's last to fall. We will have sweet, sweet victory..." Kimi continued.

Susie jumped in freezeframed.


End file.
